I was clearing out my nightstand a few weeks ago and ran across some old photographs. Given our current stage of parenting, I was interested by a couple of pictures taken some twenty-plus years ago at my own high school graduation. I was struck by how young my mom looks! And young she was, younger than I am now by a couple of years.
I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day, relating all the latest comings and goings and telling her about helping my son fill out scholarship applications and write corresponding essays and she remarked that she couldn’t believe that we were even talking about such things. In other words, we agreed that time, it flies; just as I’ve confessed such a time or two here on the blog.
How strange to think back to my own high school graduation and then so quickly find myself as the mom anticipating my son’s. And yet here we are just a few months’ out. I can only wish I look as young and as beautiful as my mom did! And she is such a good mom too; always has been. I am so thankful for my parents!
I remember as a girl computing what my age would be in the year 2000. Imagine my girlish surprise when I realized I would be close to my mom’s age! So old…or so I thought as a young nine year old girl. Of course, the closer we drew to the turn of the the millennium the more I realized I wasn’t quite as old as I’d dreaded nor as old as I had imagined my mom to be…
I sometimes wonder how my children see me. Old, probably. I have no illusions that they would think me the perfect mom. Quite the contrary, as my failures and inadequacies are on full display for all to see. And remember. Though in my more neurotic moments I fret that I have somehow ruined them forever (and perhaps I have…there’s still time, you know…), as I think on it, I confess I really don’t want my legacy to be perfection but that despite my many mistakes and shortcomings and outright wrongdoings there was much grace. Yes, I fail. But praise be to God He forgives and He redeems. I am far from the perfect mom yet I belong to the One whose arm is not too short to save!
So, in twenty years or so, when my guys find pictures of their high school graduations may they not only remark on my youth and beauty (or, not…) but even more so may they know their mom is a pauper to the extravagant grace of a merciful God.