It seems everywhere I turn lately I am reading something on biblical womanhood and Paul’s charge to the older women to teach the younger women (Titus 2:5). I am reluctantly coming to terms with the idea that at forty years old, I can indeed be considered one of the older women of Paul’s challenge. The thing is, not only do I not like to consider myself one of the “older women” crowd, I honestly don’t feel as if I have anything worth teaching or training. I myself am a mess; how can I help someone else with that which I have yet to figure out myself?
It’s funny, really, that at this stage in my journey I am supposedly mentoring a young woman, a newlywed with more maturity in her walk with Christ than I ever dreamed of having at her age. Don’t get me wrong; it has been a tremendous blessing and I am more than thankful for the opportunity! But I sometimes wonder why now, at this point when I feel as if so much of me and who I thought I was lie in disarray at my feet, why would the Lord bring me to a mentoring relationship now? It seems to me that I would have been a far greater encouragement to her a couple of years ago when my conviction, passion and confidence were strong…
Anyway, I was thinking to myself this morning about what, if anything, I have learned in my nearly fifteen years as a mom and over seventeen years as a wife. Here, in no particular order, are some of those lessons…
Criticizing and berating your husband, whether to his face, in a “hen party”, or just to yourself, only makes you both miserable. Whatever is driving you crazy, just take a deep breath and get over it already. If it means you have to pick up his dirty clothes (or whatever it is that’s getting on your nerves) for the hundredth time, then just do it. It takes far less time and energy for you to do what you don’t want to do than to nag him to death about it.**
In fact, go ahead and resolve to never speak ill of your husband to others.
Buying different brands of socks and underwear for each son makes sorting laundry much, much easier.
Those stages of life you realize you ought to enjoy generally pass by before you realize you ought to enjoy them. So, enjoy them!
Especially enjoy those baby and preschool years. Soon–before you know it (really)–they will be teenagers.
Raising teenagers is the hardest stage of parenting. So far my mode of survival consists of hanging on tight and praying really hard. This stage, like the others, will pass. (Won’t it? Can someone help me here?)
Don’t sweat the house. I know this sounds like a rationalization for my lack of homekeeping skills, and maybe it is to some degree, but I remember as a young mom how much time and effort, worry and stress, jealousy and envy, and discontent and dissatisfaction I devoted to the decorating of my home. The
more cynicalolder I get, the more I realize: it’s just stuff.
Take lots and lots of video.
Pray. Seek the Lord. I cannot be the mom my boys need and the wife my husband needs. I can’t. I need the Lord and I need Him desperately.
Your husband and your kids cannot be your whole life. You will only end up disappointed and frustrated. Find your life in Christ–He alone satisfies!
What about you? What lessons have you learned as a wife / mother / woman of God?
**I just want to say that I am married to a wonderful, amazing man of God who gives me very little to complain about or criticize!