I have often wondered how you, the reader, see me through the lens of the words I write here, particularly you readers who do not know me in real life, who could not pick my face out of a sea of brunettes (highlighted or no) nor distinguish my drawl from another equally Southern.
But these past couple of weeks, as my site visits have nearly doubled in a single week’s span and I think I may know why, I wonder about those of you who do know me in real life–how do you see me and hear my words? I am careful about what I choose to reveal, but still I fear my words being misconstrued, however inadvertently on either part, the author or the reader.
I told someone last week who had asked about my blog that we bloggers love readers (especially readers who comment, can I get an amen?). But I have to admit that sometimes I miss the early days when the sitemeter only registered 20 something hits a weeks, 18 of which were me checking for the elusive comment to appear. (this before I knew comments could be emailed directly to me)
I’ve told you that blogging is at times an outlet, so much so that sometimes I do wish to be anonymous once again, to be able to speak openly and honestly about the things that weigh heavily on my heart without fear of anyone actually reading them! Lately my heart has been so heavy that I thought it might burst, and maybe at times it did, overflowing in tears. I’ve longed for forum of expression of my grief and I’ve wished for a place to take it, and leave it.
How I forget. I have a place, the best place, a refuge no less, to pour out my heart. It is a safe place and it is the only place to find true peace no matter the depth of my grief. “Trust in him, at all times,” Psalm 62:8 encourages me. “Pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.”
A refuge. A safe place. A secure place. My God is all these things for me, and more. Earlier in the Psalm, in verse 6, David says “He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.” I’ve felt pretty shaken but the Word reminds me that my God protects and strengthens. He only is my rock. He only. Only Him.
Does your heart well up in grief and pain? Are you shaken by difficulties and doubt? Trust the Lord. Pour out your heart before Him. Take it to Him and leave it in His all powerful hands. He is good and He is sovereign. Trust Him.